i had a situation today where my immediate reaction was the exact opposite with what i would have advised someone to do in the same situation. it got me thinking about how easy it is to tell someone to turn the other cheek, or to suck it up, or any of the hundreds of other quotes that we rattle off every day, and how interesting it is that it wasn’t my first reaction.

i’ve come a long way, and i still have long to go.

ps. john lennon was the man.

weird, sad news. johnny schou from tickle me pink, the band i had the opportunity to shoot a few months back, was found dead last week. i don’t think any details were released as to the cause. it’s just crazy. the band was in town to celebrate the release of their debut album and then this.

it’s weird. i’ve met these guys. i saw them perform and got my first photo pass to shoot the show. when there was a mixup getting my pass, johnny was the one that actually signed me in.

very sad.

a quick post tonight, but i wanted to at least write something to keep with last nights post. i’m headed to bed early, for tomorrow i shall rise and get on an early flight to texas. i’ve actually never been there before, so it’s a new place to see, even if just for a short trip. i think i’ve gotten to used to not traveling in the past 3 weeks that i haven’t had to go anywhere, speaking of routines. it should be alright, though. we’ll be meeting a vendor that i’ve needed an “in” to for awhile, and i get to see some colleagues from the east coast that i don’t get to see much anymore. oh, and i started learning a new song. all in all, a crazy busy day, a short, early evening, and tomorrow is a whole different animal (i’m flying frontier!).

i was going to post something longer tonight, but i ran out of time. i did, however, manage to get a few new pictures up which should display over the next few days, and i updated our wedding site.

as much as i obsess over patterns, i think i also need routines. i need to make things a part of my routine, and then it gets easier to do. working out was is a great example. before my surgery last year, i worked out three to four times a week, every week, for years. it was such a part of my routine that i would see the clock hit 5 or 5:30 and head downstairs to the gym at work. i don’t think it was just the surgically induced interruption that caused my downfall, though. i think i have other activities that have since become part of my routine and have taken over that time slot.

finding time to do all of the things i’m trying to do has become quite problematic…if it’s not part of my routine now, it takes so much effort to get there, which is why i think it’s so hard to get back to it. right now, working out is my main focus to get back, and photography is a close second. i’ve been doing more guitar lately, no writing to speak of, and a lot of work mixed with some wedding planning and social events. i wish i could build a better balance and get things spread out better. i’d like to feel like i’m getting better at photography as i do about my guitar playing.

where will the time come from, though? right now, the job is taking a lot of time. and there is wedding planning. the job may settle down and the wedding will eventually happen, but then there are kids some day, and that is a welcome chunk of time gone. i think it will be harder and harder to keep up with all of this stuff unless i make it a part of my routine now, which isn’t really that bad. it’s not like i have 100 things to choose from. i chose (or life chose for me) things that i’ve had to drop, or re-prioritize. and that’s not a bad thing. it’s life. we can always do everything we want to do all the time.

i think it’s about momentum. i need to do these things regularly for awhile to get them officially back in the routine, but i can’t seem to get enough momentum going to carry me through the uphill parts. i think if i could push this stone up at least once or twice, gravity would do the rest. i need to make the effort to do it more, to build that momentum, to let the weight of the stone pull me with it so that i can focus on not only just doing it more, but improving. feeling better physically. or sounding better musically. or writing better. or taking better pictures. or any of the thousands…millions of things that i feel i’m falling down on right now.

and here, i’ll stop. i think i’m rambling. i do that. i think that’s one of the things that i’ve done enough and is a part of my routine, so it comes effortlessly. so in hopes of replacing that part of my routing with something more constructive…

das ist alles.

(oh, did i mention that i’m relearning german? and trying to learn some french?)