i’m one of those nti-new years resolution people. what’s so different on december 31st from january 1st? oh, but it’s the new year. fresh start. hopeful beginning.  bah, i say. i stopped smoking many years ago on january 21st, not january 1st. i started working out regularly sometime in june (coincidently, i stopped working out in a subsequent month of june). i routintely resolve to do things (about as equally as i fail to stick with them) on random dates throughout the year.

i figured i’d be better with resolutions and such. i have what they call an obsessive personality. not in a weird, creepy way. and not to the extreme that i’m washing my hands 200 times a day. somewhere in between that and apathetic, maybe leaning towards the heavy hand washing. i think most people are middle, leaning towards the indifference. so for all the things that the obsessiveness does impact in my life, it turns out not to be something i can channel, or focus on a particular things that i want to obsess over. which is really a bummer.

this year, though, i think i may try something a bit different. i may take advantage of the ushering in of another year. let father time carry away the feeling of hopelessness for all the things that weren’t done in aught-8 and make zero niner the year of change. 

granted, 2008 was a pretty big year, too. you know, with the whole getting married thing. and putting on a free pre-wedding concert. big changes at work. although i already know of some pretty hefty changes lining up for 2009, they won’t be until a bit later on in the year. but right now, i’m talking about things to change january 1st. midnight. mountain time. two days from now. wake up the next morning and be the change, live the change. free obama! woah, bring it back a little bit…

of course, then i’d have to make a list of things. i could resolve to put together a list of things for next year. or resolve to find my resolve. or resolve to just do something in 2009. technically, that gives me 364 days to procrastinate, be disappointed, and resolve to do it in 2010.

that’s generally how all of this goes. the motivation is good up until execution. the intent is honorable. and i really want to do any, many, all of the things that i want to plan to resolve to maybe possibly do in 2009. but having to commit to it given my recent string of noncommitence and follow-through-idness is a pretty big hurdle. i set these goals, whether they are on the new year or not, and can never get any traction on them. if i did, and i could make them a part of my routine, i would obsess if i wouldn’t do them. but that hurdle is big, and i’m no track star.

it makes sense, though. change is hard. really hard. ask the wife about all the things i should be changing right now. i dare you. but instead of thinking about it being a change, i should think of it as a goal. with tasks. i like those. tasks and lists are my friends. i can put the tasks in my notebook, and for the things that should be regularly occurring, i should put them in my google calendar. when they are in my google calendar, i just HAVE to do them. (except i haven’t bothered to set the reminder time further in advance, so generally when i get the reminder, i’m already doing whatever it is i’m being reminded about).  excuses are for suckers! i’m going to do it. this year, i’m resolving to make resolutions. near term ones, too. and i’ll use the list, and the calendar, and all of the other weird things that seem to comfort me when i do the things i do do (ha!). 

i’m fired up! i’m totally going to go make my resolution list now. well, not now now. there is always later. and i’m kind of busy. you know, busy not making lists. busy not making resolutions. busy not working on all of the things i should be working on. screw change. i’m consistent.

no! focus. ok, resolutions. 2 days. i have tonight and all day tomorrow to come up with my list. and to think about how i’l start doing them. no excuses! no retreat, no surrender! no means no! only now no means yes! yes to change! yes to resolve! yes to resolutions!

viva la resolutions!